The Mom Song Sung to William Tell Overture

I love this

What are you looking at?

In my journey through life, I sometimes take a chance to stop and look back at where I have come. I don't wish to go back, but rather reflect back on the lessons that have come through the path I am on.

Lately, I have really had a burden to do a study on the reasons to approach the cross as opposed to the reason to approach the throne. The cross stands for brokenness. A submissive symbol for us Christians to remind us that we must die to ourselves and our will. The cross is a place of surrender. All that happened on that cross should be a model of what our lives should be in order to stay in the will of God.

The throne is a differnt type of symbol. The throne of God is a place of worship. One must approach the throne with a humbled heart, where the cross is the act that will bring humbleness.

In order to approach the throne of God they must first visit the cross. They must remember the purpose of their worship. Reflect the sacrifice that lead you to the throne.

Once you are where you need to be, completely humbled and under the submission of God, I like to picture this as being in the lap of God. Constantly adoring the Creator, doting on the One who gives us breath.

Here is where my question comes in. How often do we, who are sitting on Jesus' lap as any child would do a loving parent, shift our focus? We are still exactly where we need to be, in line with God, but we have taken our eyes off our purpose. We may be doing God's Will, but may be focused on the acceptance of others or the accolades of our peers. When God, if we stay focused on the One who put us in that position, would give us all our heart desires, if we just stay focused on him.

So, I am putting this question out there to those of you who read this blog. What are you looking at?

An adendum...

I would like to make an adendum to the previous post. I have not realized how effective this blog could be. I was simply looking at this as a way to put my thoughts before me and never actually thought anyone really read this. For that reason, I have said things that no one else should have been privvy to. I had no premeditation behind anything I have written and, in that, have stepped on a few toes.

To those of you who have been the object of my writings, I want to say that I am deeply sorry for anyway that my blog has upset you and tarnished your image of who I really am.

Like I just previously posted, I have become a person that I don't recognize. Please accept my apologies and pray with me for my mind to be renewed with those things which are good and holy.

Once again, I am sorry for any hurt that I have caused.

My weakness...

Ok, so my weakness is my newly found appriciation for Christian fiction novels. I have found quite a few authors that I can completely dive into their writings and not surface until the back cover is reached.

Karen Kingsbury, Neta Jackson, Dee Henderson, and Kristen Heitzmann are some of the authors that I enjoy.

I am currently on the second book of a series by Kristen Heitzmann and it has brought quite a few good thoughts to my mind. The one that hits me the most is the quote:

"To experience a greater joy is to risk a greater sorrow."

How true is that? In order to truely experience a boundless joy takes risking the chance at a greater sorrow.

Regardless of how the experience turns out there should be no regrets because you risked the sorrow just to experience the joy. This could be applied to many situations in life. So the next time you are faced with a chance at great joy, I say weigh the risks and know that, yes, you might get hurt, but, wouldn't the joy that is possible far outweigh the sorrow you could experience.

God is Good...

From the abundance of the mind, the mouth speaks. (Or something like that. I think you will get my jest.)

I am sitting here at work giving my sinus medicine time to kick in before beginning my usual tasks. While waiting, I have gone over and read my past few entries. I must seem like a dark, lost soul. I would like to try and redeem myself.

It amazes me how quickly our mind can deceive us. In no time at all our mind can make us believe all sorts of things. In reading through my blogs, I have become to see how deceived I have become.

I am not in the mudslinging business, but somehow, my blogs have represented that I am. I have been on the blunt end of insults and misunderstanding enough in my own life to simply but someone else through that as well. But that is what I have stooped to.

Time can do wonders for our thoughts and, if we are strong enough to wait, our actions. My writings, although completely unintended, could have misled people down a wrong path.

I pray regularly for God to help me be a stepping stone and not a stumbling block. That people could use me to help them get farther along in their walk with God, not stumble because of my doing. But, unfortunately, I believe that I have become just that, a stumbling block.

But...God is Good. He has shown me the error of my ways. If I were to spend more time focusing on Him and less time focused on me and my situations, the abundance of my heart and mind would definatley put me back into the place that I am supposed to be, not slinging mud.

So, I will strive to make this blog more about positive, uplifting things and less about negative things that may cause someone else to stumble.

The Goings-on

I can't believe that is July already! The summer is now half-way over and what do I have to show for it? The Baldi's have been pretty busy with ball season and all. Now, ball season is over and things can start settling down.

The Baldi household has entered a new season. We have recently resigned the Youth Group at our church and although it was a bittersweet separation, we are beyond relieved to be out from under that responsibility. (Apparently, so are many others.) We truly had a heart for the youth that we worked with and looked forward to what the future held for the youth of WMAC. Unfortunately, as with any "break-up", feelings have been hurt. We had full intention of notifiying the children ourselves of our decision, but that task was taken out of our hands while we were on vacation. So, understandably so, there are some who feel betrayed because we were not the ones who let them know. We wish the youth the best in the future and continue to pray that the right decisions will be made regarding their leadership.

As part of this new season we have entered, we are exploring many options. Life sometimes comes at you at full force and you aren't ready for what lies ahead. Our job is to just handle it the way God would have us handle it. This is especially hard. No one ever expects those closest to you would hurt you. Right now, we are praying about certain situations that have happened lately and seeking the Will of God on how to handle them. Sometimes distancing yourselves from the situations is the best solution. That is probably the way this is going to be handled. We need to go somewhere and lick our wounds for awhile.

Please pray for us as we are entering this new season. We have three children whose souls depend on us to make the right choices. It is not just us anymore. We have to keep our children in mind and keep them from being hurt the way that we have been. We are well aware that the changing of seasons is not always the easiest thing to go through, but I know that we will make it through.

My Revelations...

I, like others, have to apologize for not updating my blog like I should. What can I say, life has been crazy! Anyway, I will try to do better.

God has a way of speaking to me in small subtle ways. I can be driving down the road and all of a sudden I am hit with a new revelation. They can be complex or very simple.

One of the first one is a bumper sticker of a hairy man's arm using a clay wheel and the caption would be "God - The original "Hairy Potter."

Another one is that we need to be more like Zacheus and go out on a limb for God.

Most of the time they are very simple but then they can get more complex.

My latest hit me yesterday on my way home from work. There are two journies that we must make multiple times in our Christian walk- to the cross and to the throne of God.
There is a time for each journey. The cross is a form of execution, brokenness. It is the greatest symbol of shame and humiliation. We go there when we are beat down. However, the bible also says that we are to take up our cross daily.

The throne of God is where you go in times of worship. You can still be broken and approach the throne, but it is for worship.

This is still being formed. I haven't gotten the whole revelation yet, but I thought I would share it incase any of you might have some insight in this matter.

Please, keep praying for our family. We are at a crossroads and are really needing direction. We have been stationed at the cross for quite some time and have forsaken the journey to the throne. Help us find our way from the cross to the throne. (This is not saying that we have fallen away. This is simply saying that prayer is needed in this new chapter, new journey, in our life.) Thank you for your prayers. I know God will deliver.

...not of fear...but of a sound mind

So, referring back to my previous post, I told about the attack my husband and I have been experiencing. Last night, I had a revelation.
The attack has seemed to be personal, against my work ethic, my personality, my whole being. However, I realized last night that the attack has been solely on my mind. I used to be able to pride myself in multitasking and getting stuff done in a structured precise manner. Not so much anymore. Even the simplest tasks have become easily forgotten. Not only that, but my mindset on things has been completely negative. My attitude has been poor and I haven't made any strides in trying to improve it.
I have had enough. I, as the rest of you, need the full use of my mind, and I am tired of the battle that is being played out in that area. I reclaim the use of my mind and I bind any negative thought or attitude. I am praying that my mind be restored to what it used to be, not years ago, but weeks ago.
Gateway choir sings a song that I am deeming as my new theme song: "I want it all back!"
I want the full use of my mind back. No more confusion, no more negativity, no more forgetfullness. NO MORE!!
Devil...I want it all back! It's not yours to use. It is God's.
For God did not give us the spirit of fear (confusion, bitterness, resentment, negativity) but of power (over anything that tries to bind us), and of love (not hate) and of a sound mind (Thank You, Jesus!)

A personal beat-down

Recently, my husband and I have been subject to a spiritual and character beat-down. It seems as though everyone has it out for us. The people we have been portrayed as are not at all who we are. We have been talked about, put-down, griped at, over-ruled, and finally our character has been attacked.

What have we done to deserve this? We have poured our hearts into our ministry. Given until we have nothing to give. Cared for people that could care less. Taught lessons, opened our home, given our time, and for what? To be assualted on very personal levels by people who claim to think we are "The Bomb."

They don't listen when we teach. They do what they want regardless of anyone else's feelings. They turn our words around and make them something they are not meant to be.

This is not a poor me article. This is a fed-up article. When people tell others who do not know us how bad of people we are and have nothing to base it on, I take that personally. When my character and my job is criticised, I have no other option but to take it personally. Others feel they can do a better job and would rather talk about what they would have done if they were in the position, but when it comes to acting on it, cower.

I am done!! No more am I going to put myself out there to be trampled on and beat down. I have two priorities in my life: making heaven and teaching my children how to make heaven. With the rate that we are being talked about and assaulted, I will be lucky to escape. I am now going to focus on my family because in the past nearly two years they have been put on the back burner. They are now my priority.

So for those of you reading this that are guilty of this brutal beat-down...it is your turn to put your actions behind those words and show us how we should be running things. If you have been taught anything in the past year it should be to respect authority. You have done a really good way of showing your respect. It's your turn now.

Respecting those in authority.

What is it with the young people of today not respecting what older people ask them to do? All over you see children and young adults constantly talking back to their parents, teachers, or others in authority. They do not take responsibility for the consequences of their actions. When something goes wrong, it is always someone else's fault.

I know times have changed, however, I have found that you get a whole lot more things go your way if you are nice and respect the person instead of whining and throwing a fit because they won't let you do something you want. My daughter is trying to pull this with me lately. She asks me repeatedly to do something or have something because she thinks if she asks me enough I will be worn down and let her do it/have it. Sad to say, in the past I have buckled and let this happen. But, more often than not, I do not give in. Which brings on the beginnings of a temper tantrum. Now she is five, so this is still somewhat acceptable because she is testing her limits. But, when you become an adolescent, this is completely not acceptable.

Too many times have I seen young girls in our youth group throw a fit and not listen to their parents or grandparents when they are not allowed to do what they want. Is this really what the world is coming to? I know I always feel better about letting my daughter to something after she has asked and responded nicely when told no than if she were to throw a fit.

When people who have been placed in a postition of authority ask you to do something, there is a reason. Although you may not see the reasoning behind it, that person knows why and, if it arises, that person is capable of taking the blame for having you do whatever they asked. I just wish the young people of today would wake up and learn a little respect for those in authority, but my mind wonders...could this be a learned trait?

What about how we act when we pray about something and God decides that is not really what we need? Do we accept that decision and go on about our day in a joyous attitude? Or do we get a bad attitude and go forth with this request and make our own way to make it happen? I think we all may be guilty of this, however, is this something that we want to keep passing on to the next generation? As we have seen, if there is even the slightest give in any area, the give grows in the next generation and so on and so on. Before we know it, whatever the original circumstance was is completely irrelevant because of the constant need to fulfill our own desires.

Just a peek into the way my mind thinks.

Out of the mouths of babes...

Today, while taking my children to school the two oldest were bantering back and forth. (As always) I normally don't pay much attention until it gets out of hand. Today the subject was interesting jobs. Tyler (my oldest) said "Well, my best friend's dad is a police officer." Lily fires back, "Well, daddy is a vegetarian!" Tyler says "Nuhuh! Dad eats meat!" As I was getting ready to comment my son says "Lily, you mean dad is a veteran!" She says "I mean he used to be in the navy. You know a vegetarian."

Where else would we get our entertainment than from the young ones in our life.

My passion

Everyone is passionate about something. There is something in their lives that they have a tendancy to spend their thoughts and time on. But when a passion becomes an obsession, you need to look out.

I have a passion for children. Any age, really. I love being around them and teaching them and just watching their minds process new things. It is an amazing thing to see a child begin to understand a new idea or activity. It really hurts me to see children mistreated and abused. I even cringe when I can tell a child is not getting the attention they need at home.

My husband and I have talked about becoming foster parents in the future, when our kids are a little bigger. We both have a heart for children that need love. I think that we could give the child what they are lacking and help them become who they are meant to be through the care that we could provide.

Here is where I believe my problem will lie. I will not want to let the child go. Even if the parent has shown all adequate proof that they are able to raise that child, I will not want to let go. Then, what if I see that child out and can tell they are still not receiving what they were getting at our home? I hear stories of mistreated children on the news and my heart goes out to them. How can any one take one look into the eyes of a child and possibly have the audacity to harm them? When I hear these stories, I want to go get that child and love them the way they need to be loved. Talk to them, read to them, but most importantly, listen to them. They need to feel important to someone.

I am a mother of three children and yes, they do push me to my limits sometimes. But, never, could I ever hurt them or mistreat them in a way that would warrant DCFS to intervene in the situation. I guess what I am trying to say is that my passion could very easily become an obsession because I would not want to turn away any child that needed a safe, loving environment to live in. The saddest thing, I believe, is seeing a child with a broken spirit when it all could have been prevented if the parent would show them one ounce of love they needed.

Moms

I know Mother's Day has passed, but it has gotten my thinking process going. (It could also be that I just listened to a sermon about moms.) There are many different types of moms. The definition of a mother in the dictionary is very generic. (Female parent) It takes more than just giving birth to be a mom. Some moms have never experienced the whole birthing process but still posess all the qualities a mother should have. Many women who give birth never develop these qualities, but still qualify as a mother.

To me, a mother figure is one who has had a positive impact on your life. She has given you love and attention and guidance through many bumpy situations. She has never turned her back regardless of the circumstances. The love she shows is unconditional. You know that regardless of what goes on in the world around you, what kind of mess you have gotten into, your mother will still see the potential you have and guide you to undo all the tangles you have created.

Moms leave a legacy in their children without the children realizing what they are learning. I know many women's goals are to not become their mother. However, this is quite inevitable. If your mother has had any input on your upbringing, you will become somewhat like your mother.

In my life, I have many moms. My maternal mother, my mother-in-law, a spiritual mother, and other women that have impacted me one way or another. I have been blessed to have a network of women that have been influential in the woman I am today.

My mom has passed to me her determination. I can be rather bull-headed. But in crisis situations, I get a mind set of the things that need to be done and accomplish them. In daily tasks, I can get more done only with the determination I have gained from her.

I guess my reason for this post is to just make you think about the women in your life that have helped shape you into the person you are now. Although, some characteristics you may not be thankful for right now, they will come in handy at some point throughout your journey in life. Thank your mom for who you are and who you are to become.